It's with a devastating, deep feeling of sadness that I'm contemplating writing these words.
Our beautiful Ruff has left us after a long illness. Elaine and I noticed that she didn't seem her normal self, during our last trip to Spain in November and December. She seemed very tired and was walking much slower (which we thought was due to arthritis) and she'd become incontinent. Our regular vet took an X-ray and discovered that her lungs weren't normal. He prescribed antibiotics (for a possible lung infection) and some cortisol anti-inflams (for possible cancer).
We were very concerned over the Christmas and New Year period that we were going to lose Ruff. She had a visit from a canine osteopath who discovered that she didn't actually have arthritis. The vet suggested that she should stay on the anti-inflams as a precaution. Meanwhile, Elaine had Googled the anti-inflams and found that they were a palliative care treatment for cancer, which set off the warning bells.
However, Ruff improved quickly in early January and our daily routine was soon back to normal, with nice long walks up the hill behind our house. We assumed that the antibiotics had cleared up a lung infection.
We had six wonderful weeks together, the three of us, during which Ruff was really happy and seemingly back to her old self. Sadly, by the end of February though, she had started deteriorating quickly and didn't want to walk much and appeared very sad. An ultrasound examination discovered a very large tumour in her abdomen (possibly in the pancreas) and extensive metastases in her lungs. We were devastated when the vet said that she had a week left and we would probably have to make the difficult decision to put her to sleep.
We continued to give Ruff all our love and devotion during the last days of her life, although it was heartbreaking to see her deteriorating, initially day by day and then by the hour. We made the difficult decision on Friday 6th March and she passed away very peacefully in our arms. She was only eleven and a half, which was a couple of years premature.
Our lives are now changed forever and we miss our beautiful Ruff so much, but we know we made the right decision and she's no longer suffering. We're very happy knowing that she had a wonderful life and went everywhere with us. Also, she was very well loved by many in the climbing community.
Dogs really are amazing animals. They don't ask for much and, yet, in return are happy to give you unconditional love every day. We were naturally attracted to the Border Collie breed, back in 1989, being as they are well known for their intelligence, desire for exercise and fun loving character (and so often seen outdoors by climbers in Snowdonia and the Yorkshire Dales). Consequently, we have shared our lives with 4 collies during the last 37 years (Del, Merlin, Scamp and Ruff). But now, I'm totally at a loss (despite having been in this situation before). Ruff's no longer there when I go downstairs in the mornings. She doesn't stretch, or yawn or have a shake before going out for the first walk of the day. Nor does she splash water everywhere when she has a drink or peer into the kitchen, when I'm cooking, in the hope that I'll give her some cheese. She really was such a special, funny, happy and laid back dog. Every minute I miss her love, her joie de vivre and her companionship.
The emptiness hurts so much. But it's time to heal and move on. Hopefully, we'll feel ready to go out climbing again soon.
